||[Jan. 25th, 2005|03:38 pm]
okay im posting this for no real reason..but it something the mumsy sent to me in an email...so i figure i will post for comments and analyzation....she sent it with some card...
Regardless if you know it or not. it is my hand that has allways held your
hand.. It is my hand that alway helped you take the first step and it is my hand
that let you out of harm.. it is also my hand that spanked your ass to shape you
Yes i am a hard as bitch.. and yes i can be what you make me be.. When the
world lays on my shoulder for 20yrs with out any help.. then my shoulder become
eather stronger or very week.. Right know they are both..
i don't only win but i lose.. i lose my children to the world.. but i have
raised them the best i can under the eyes of god. and whith out support to guid
me.. or to strainth.. It wa me and only me..
I have worked my ass off so you and your dad can have a relationship.. so don't
back stab me in the prosses..
I have worked my ass off so you can have a future and a life when it starts..
money down for a down payment.. credit a stinken car.. that no one is grateful
for.. a place to live..
You both wanted to move out.. well I moved out.. instead.. but i still have to
come home and guss what do the stinken work regardless.. I pick up the dishes, I
pick up the laundry... I pick up the shoes and sockes, shrits jackets, nick
nacks. You name it i still do it and i don't even need to but i do..
fairness.. Yes on my part no on you kids. I give and give and give and all i
get in return is what you dad tought you.. How to punish mom when she dose not
do what you want or if you don't get your way.. or if you have to do to much
work.. or if you dont want to do something how to screw it up so mom will have
to pick up the pices and do it for you.. dont worry.. this is nothing new to me.
but it is to you.. Why becouse only for the last few years are you a real live
person.. Only for the last few years to do have the mind to decide what you want
and don't want to do in life. Only for the last few years do you see what YOU
think you see but it is not sill there.. but it will be.. and in the end.. You
will see the truth..
that it was me all along holding your hand.. even through your infancey,
childhood, teenagerhood, then adult hood.. through your relationships your
marriages, your children and greefs.. it was me holding your hand.. then when
your life changes and i will still be holding your hand.
but for know i will know that it is just a stage you go through in life.. just
like i did i don't have to like the way you treat me. I don't have to like the
way you do not help me in the house.. and yet i gave you both your freedom M W F
S SN.. but is that good enough no.......... not at all..
Just remember I am the only one supporting you to make your dreams come true..
No one else.. so think the next time you treat me like shit.. It it really worth
all the pain that it causes me..
it is you that make life difficult not me.. All i am doing is what fucken life
expects of me. With out taxes and with out bills and cars and phones and tvs
and houses and water and trash and jobs there would be only war..
some day you will see that all of this is more important then you think.. and
for what i have accomplilshed in 2 yrs is more then most people do in a life
time. so the next time you look at me tryt looking through someone else eyes
and not the kids you tell all your dam problems to but through a real persons
Eyes and you will see that i really am a great women and mother.. regardless of
how you make me fee. Your father made me feel like i was a maggic on the bottom
of his show.. So how do you think you make me feel.. Think about it..
You here it out of my mouth but you don't seem to change.. do you.. You see the
pain i go though but still you just seem to not care..
And yet i still care what happends to you.. Yes you both make me regreat my
decisions.. all the time for the way that you make me feel but in the end it all
adds up and it is me that win.. becouse i get to watch my childeren becoume
the end.. do all the harm know for later in life it will 3 time smack you
harder as my mother told me.. and belive me it is true. For one child x 3 makes
Goodnight. Thin the next time to talk to me and it is really worth all the pain
i will go through becouse you did not like to here the truth..
You want complaments then show me the real you.. You want me to say how
whounderful you are then show me the nice person in you ane the compashiont
person that cares for all.. and I am includded in that. by the way..
You want respect then give me respect becouse untill that happends you do not
earn my respect.. That is what you lost out on becouse your father.. Yes it is a
man that teacher his children respect.. and many more things like commen
secence, then there is integretty and how to fix things how to solve proplems..
Moms are for other things..
This is why there is a man and a women not just one.